| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| TheEngager |
Posted - 14 February 2008 : 17:41:15
As Swiss Tony once said; Winning a game of Rugby is a lot like making Love to a Beautiful Woman…. You got to rough it up front & around the fringes before you can enjoy yourself by tossing it around the backs.
In which case, The Meisters have yet again failed to pull and are going home with just a kebab and, if we’re very lucky, our favourite sock.
Let me make this clear, straight from the start. We lost 5 – 0 at home to Paviors… It was 0 – 0 at half time. Not much you can add to that by way of a match report…The rest is just window dressing.
So, let me introduce you to a glittering display. In fact if you’ve got a minute, this is an elaborate 1920’s Art Deco bay wood sash within which is the finest silk draped over the thighs of several moist nubile French girls of dubious moral standards above which is an enormous 30 ft flashing Neon sign which reads… This is Window Dressing.
The Meisters turned up with 20 ready, willing & able men… (actually scrap the ‘willing & able’ bit….. and ‘ready’ for that matter….. ) on a beautiful bright sunny day. It all seemed quite promising, we were confident – Paviors were stuck in traffic and there was no way we were going to give them any subs. The game starts and we get bogged down in a war of attrition with their Forwards. Most of the half was spent camped in our own 22. Finlay doing everything he could to peg them back with some devastating kicks, but each time we failed to capitalise on the territory. The forwards defended resolutely, although chatting to the expert onlookers after the game, the comment was resoundingly poor support around the fringes which lead to too many turnovers.
Freddie was having the game of his life, catching the high kicks and running back at them with bravado & panache. I thought he was a gonner when he ran into 3 forwards but he managed to out do them and gain some decent metres. Cogan had a fine display at 9 with quick ball out to anyone calling for it.
Flanagan & Rob Smith were excellent on the offence, but we somehow managed to lose the momentum. In the second half, Roger from Ashbourne came on for Finlay at 10 and JB joined the 2nd row. The half carried on much as the first until Paviors scored with a cheap but well ran unconverted try after a couple of missed tackles. The Meisters were chasing the game and started to get good possession. In the final minutes Bent-Nosed-Bron almost became the hero of the day, with an awesome charge through the defence only to come up feet short. Flanagan charged down a Paviors kick on the 5m and got shoed for his trouble (Tosh deeming him offside and deserved the raking studs in a 1970’s kinda way) Paviors kick out of trouble lead to The Meisters surging over the line after some decent recycling from Cogan… only for Tosh to disallow the try for moving on the floor without momentum or something… looked dubious to me, but one can’t question these decisions… we’re not moronic Footballers are we?
So the game ended 5 – 0. Although… Derby 1st Team magnificently beat Paviors 1st 27 – 16 … so on aggregate both Derby teams beat Paviors 27 – 21.
Favourite Moment of the Match – The Meisters pack were having a bit of argy bargy with the Paviors pack in a light-hearted-Rob-Smith-smacking-someone-across-the-chops-sort-of-way and Paviors were out to prove something when it came to a 5m scrum on the Derby line. The ball immediately comes out and gets swamped by the back row and any available backs. Derby win the ball and boot to clear after another phase & subsequent turnover. After surfacing from the ruck the sound of organised pushing can be heard over near the touchline, we turn round to see both sets of Front & Second rows still bound in a scrum – locked in battle pushing past the dead ball line – the ball had been cleared at least 30 seconds previous and they failed to notice.
The Meisters aren’t having any luck in a Swiss Tony way, he should have done his maths … if you allow me to demonstrate.
Finding the right woman is a product of Time & Money (Women = Time x Money), but we all know that Time is Money (Time = Money) and also Money is the root of all your problems (Money = Sq Root[Problems]). So:
Women = Time x Money But Time = Money
Therefore; Women = Money x Money so Women = Money ²
But if Money = sq root(Problems) Therefore Money² = Sq Root(Problems)² = Problems
Which proves … Women = Problems
Dawes 7 - I'Anson 1 |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| TheEngager |
Posted - 16 February 2008 : 00:56:30
Halifaxbeest, glad to be of service... you ought to see my calculation for world peace using a slide rule & gary's pants.
Riddler.. work on your rhymes mate. It sounds like you're trying too hard.
Nelly, I was doing you a favour, but on hindsight yeah you're right.
Norm. Don't bring the 4ths down to the Vets standards...I know what goes off.
Dawes 7 - I'Anson 1 |
| The Riddler |
Posted - 15 February 2008 : 15:34:12
Maybe he was, i here the 4ths are very close........
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| norm |
Posted - 15 February 2008 : 14:58:44
Godd job the report didn't say he had was pulled off at half time!! |
| The Riddler |
Posted - 15 February 2008 : 11:31:39
Riddle me this???????????
I can't work out the riddle of why Finbar was sent off at half time????????
Finbar I heard you came off at half time?
And it would seem at this time you started to whine!
I can't understand this, you were hard done by mate,
As the report says you were "devastating", your performance was great.
So this week get training and stay out of the larder,
Or your report will again say "you must try harder"!
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| halifaxbeest |
Posted - 15 February 2008 : 11:27:43
Can I just say, the mathematical proof that women = problems is absolute genius, providing time and money are both integers. Like all the great thinkers of a generation, never have I seen such a complex issue resolved in such an easy-to-understand method.
I doff my cap to you, sir...
I just called to say I love MMUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH 3:-O |
| NELLY |
Posted - 15 February 2008 : 11:12:16
No woman, no try!!!!!
Dawes, I spotted a mistake in your match report. You said "expert onlookers" when it should have been "idiot onlookers".
Do we have any bigger shirts?????? |
| finbar |
Posted - 14 February 2008 : 21:45:12
As Bob once sung: No woman, no cry....
9 - thats where its at!!!
10 - not bad either!! |
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