| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Nerve Gas |
Posted - 04 October 2007 : 17:50:26
Matlock/Hinkley (Matley)XV 34 - 49 BEEEEEESTS
On a bright and sunny day the Beests travelled in various directions to Matley, hoping to improve on thier performance against Syston the previous week.
Unfortunately one member of the migrating herd ended up in Derby via Matlock Bath and Mackworth, only to discover that the rest of the herd had migrated to Matley. (You f**king Plonker Simmo)
The Beests Kicked off into a strong headwind, playing up-river for the first quarter, and were soon in the lead after a superb bit of back play saw Nathaniel Good storm in under the posts. Bronx Brooks added the 2 points. Almost from the kick off Moltonlava gathered, ran the length of the pitch and dived in at the corner for the BEESTS second try of the day, which was also converted by Bronx.
Whilst Bronx was slotting the kick the sneaky Matley players had stolen a canoe, and using the spare ball had gently floated down-river, crossing the whitewash completely unnoticed except by the ref, who awarded the try. Luckily the ball was waterlogged, and the Matley kicker was unable to add the nudge.
This DASTARDLY PIECE OF TRICKERY greatly angered the Beests, and having won some good ball out on the left, the ball flowed right where Nathaniel accelerated clear for his second of the day. Again Bronx added the conversion of St Paul.
The Beests then used one of thier old moves from last year and promptly fell asleep, allowing Matley to score under the posts. The Matley 10, feeling guilty about scoring against snoozing opposition, very sportingly missed the conversion.
So ended the first quarter: Matley 10 - 24 The Beests.
The herd were straight out off the blocks in the second half, playing into a blizzard, they resorted to "Ball-up-the -jumper" rugby and Ben Van Smatt went over for a try, Bronx, getting rather boring and predictable, added the nudge.
The Beests now retired to the bar to watch Georgia crush the All Blacks in the World Cup, and left Matley to score 2 uncontested tries, one of which they managed to convert. this brought to an end the second quarter, with the Beests 9 points to the good.
This tactic of resting for a while during the game proved itself at the start of the third quarter. The Beests suitably fed and watered, and inspired by the men from Asia, started at a rattling good pace, which soon had Matley on the back foot again. A good build up with well recycled plastic and cardboard led to the ball being sent wide and our new Polish winger, Mail Sretlaw, dived over for a well deserved try. Looking around for Bronx to take the conversion, the Beests realised that he had fallen asleep in the bar, and failed to return to the pitch, whilst Porridge (our new French player), went off to find him, Dave Danson stepped up to the mark and added the points.
The forwards had been biding their time for a while, and now decided to impose themselves on the Matley pack: this led to a try for Kebab-Lover-Glover, which The man previosly known as someone else (but not Jody), converted. Being greedy, The man previously known as someone else then added a penalty.
The third quarter ended with no further scoring, though the Matley scrum half looked as if he was trying to score with PB.
Matley 22 - 49 Beests
The Beests realising that they were so far in front, all went back to Haslams for few beers, leaving the Matley players to squable amongst themselves. Rumour has it that they scored another couple of tries, one of which may, or may not, have been converted.
Frankly "Who cares?"
Squad: Nathaniel Good, Moltonlava, Maddog 1, Maddog 2, Mial Stretlaw, Bronx, Tom Swansong, Rob Smitt, Kebab-Lover-Glover, Caveman, The Whelk, Adamandeve, The Naked Paitballer, Ben Van Smatt, Porridge, Hobnail, Dave Danson (the man previously known as someone else), PB, Martyn van der Dodd, Satnav Simmo, Israel Burk, Cresswell Coaches, Pawpaw, The Maharajah and Ben Whatsisname.
It wasn't me |
| 1 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| glover |
Posted - 04 October 2007 : 18:27:46
im confused!!!!!!!! who the hell are Matley i dont remember playing them but i do remember the try, the backs thought they would take second phase ball, think again.hahaa |
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