| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| sadam |
Posted - 27 October 2006 : 16:54:45
Sorry this is a bit late I have been in Ireland seeing if the IRA want a few second hand Nukes.
The Beests set off for Burton with the 73rd different scrum-half of the season (Maddog) to see what life would bring. (Well it didn't bring Harry "The Pie" Roberts for starters!)
The warm up was a bit hurried as the ref gathered both teams together for a 30 minute lesson on how to play rugby. (I didn't know you could pick the ball up, lucky he explained everything).
However the BEEEESTS BURST out of their BLOCKS with a BANG and after 5 minutes Ian "The Gazelle" Thompson had scored two tries and converted one of them (greedy git).
Rob "My-dad-is-even-shorter-than-me" van der Brun then crossed for five more points just as his Dad (I'm-even-shorter-than-my-son van der Brun), arrived to swell the Beests travelling band of spectators to 3. The nudge was just missed by The Gazelle (or possibly his twin brother who was in the stand (or perhaps on the pitch....?)
The Forwards, who had done most of the scoring in previous weeks, were somewhat miffed at all this attacking flair from the backs (excellently marshalled by Mad van Dag and The Gazelle), so decided to get a few points for themselves, and one of them went over for a try. (The tall one who usually plays at 6, and used to be in the 1st XV till they realised how useless he is - can't remember his name).
The Gazelle's brother nipped on and added the nudge.
The Beests were now in full flow with the Backs and Forwards linking with the grace and beauty of a pregnant hedgehog, and after several passages of scintilatiously exquisite play Preeeeceee the winger, (who used to be in the 1st XV till they realised how useless he is) thundered in for a five pointer that Golden Bollocks Thompson (or his brother) converted.
Burton then got a penalty just before the half-time whistle, to leave the score:
Burton 3 Beests 31
At the watering hole the Beests split into groups to discuss the finer points of Zen Budhism and how pissed they were going to get at Mick "The Mongoose Slayer's" bash that night. Sixpence (who used to be in the 1st XV till they realised how useless he is) RECKONED IT WAS THE BEST THE BEEESTS HAD PLAYED ALL SEASON.
The second half started with Cresswell van der Coaches replacing S van der Bend, and Tom van der Sawyer replacing Mad van Dag. No Frills soon got injured though and S van der Bend had to come back on as Cresswell went in to the back row and the useless 6 from the 1st XV (what's his name?) went into the second row.
All these changes so confused the Burton players that they let Preecee van der Priest in for a try. The Gazelle's dad promptly converted.
After more Champagne rugby My-dad-is-even-shorter-than-me van der Brun cut through the opposition to cross the line. The Gazelle's aunt knocked over the conversion of St.Paul for the extra points.
The Beests were now getting bored: 45 points up against a Burton team that hadn't even thrown a punch!! call this a derby?? Any way they all fell asleep and Burton scored a try which was converted.
The end of the game.
Burton 10 Beests 45
Six pence was right at haltime - best display so far with some fluency in the backs and some good back-row play giving continuity. Good display from The Gazelle's family and an encouraging debut for Tom van der Sawyer.
(Squad: Molton Lava, van der Priest, ^&*"£ (The artist previously known as Dave), van der Brun, van der Bend, The Gazelle, van Dag, van der Cumbs, Six pence, van der Mat, Skippy, No Frills, Pawpaw, van der Goodstein, van der Smatt, van der Coaches and van der Sawyer)
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