| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Ze German |
Posted - 27 November 2006 : 08:59:52
Another great result for the mighty Meisters, with a 79-3 drubbing of Loughborough 4ths. Scorers were Dawes (4), Beddy (3), Dancing Dave (2), Louis, The Braaaiin, Big Nelly with his virgin try and Rob Smith with a 50 yarder (not bad for a prop)
I am sure Colin will provide a match report later in the week |
| 1 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Ze German |
Posted - 28 November 2006 : 10:25:25
The Meisters regained their form last week against Coalville, this week's match away to Loughborough Town was yet another venture over to an Inbred Leicestershire backwater with little talent. The Wildebeests (Derby II's) had their match cancelled so two of their most illustrious players (The Titanic Gay-Biker-Pin-Up Matt Bates & The Effervescent-drumming-drinking-paintballer-pin-up-and-all-round-mentalist Jody Else) had the pleasure of earning their stripes the tough, old school way. Learning how rugby should be played as it was intended… The School Bully way. Also back in the team after another Tour of Duty was The Original-Ginger-Mutant - Beddy.
Loogabarooga had only turned up with 14 players and uncontested scrums, as a result The Meisters weren't in a charitable mood so our 3 subs stood and watched.
In the first minute, Nelly finally got his reward for all his efforts this season with his First Try for the Mighty Meisters. It was awesome in it's simplicity, a penalty on the 5m line was given the touch by Gandolfo-Golden-Balls who turned to see Nelly charging forward. It was over in a flash, the sight of a 20 stone 6 ft 7 behemoth belting towards them caused the Loughboro defence to have a collective bowel movement and Nelly put the ball down 5m over the whitewash without any resistance at all.
Try 2 was a classic Beddy move. Massive hand offs and flailing bodies.
Try 3 Louis 'I've-got-a-brand-new-combined-harvester-ooh-I've-just-scored-another-try' Gandolfo waltzed in as if he was entering a bar in a western
Try 4 Dawes, in the absence of I'Anson, took the ball from our own 5m and weaved a mazy run handing off 14 players before putting the ball down between the posts, but Dave missed the conversion
Try 5 Rob Smith…. Ooh hang on - I got Dawes & Big Rob Smith mixed up. Dawes had an easy put down near the line.. It was Big Rob Smith playing prop who impressively ran the ball 50 yds - there was no chance of him passing that ball whatsoever. He needed oxygen afterwards though.
Try 6 Beddy's surging run passed to Dave with only the Full Back to beat swiftly fed it to Dawes for a sprint to the line, who despite being upended, superbly put the ball down at the last moment.
Try 7 Dancin Dave Richards after watching Strictly Come Dancing opted for the Paso Doble Latin Cha Cha.
At this point Jody Else decided that playing for the underdog would be a good laugh, which gave the opposition 15 men.
Now, I'm not going to inveigle my way into Jody's good books through flattery & deceit - a pint of Stella is enough to do that - but this timely god-like addition gave a beaten team some spirited organisation. The following 10 minutes was - I wouldn't say Stiff Opposition…but it was better than the Flaccid excuse they were offering…. let's say it was a Semi… Yes... Jody gave them a Semi…. and they scored 3 points.
Half time came and went. Jody switched back to the Dark Side whilst Sheriff (rendered impotent due to the uncontested scrummery) fancied a bit of violence against his fellow men and joined Loogabarooga.
Try 8 Beddy karate chopped his way to the touchline
Try 9 Dawes took the ball from Charlie and opted not to pass to Rueben who was waiting patiently for his first pass of the day, ran 20-ish yds… out of the blue came Sheriff, smelling his First Blood (Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! - chuffed Sheriff) Dawes thought about taking him on (Hoo!.....Hoo!.......Hoo!) then thought again and legged it for the corner (Hoo………...Hoo…………..Whoooo am I kidding I'm knackered) Dawes slid into the corner for his 3rd, whilst Sheriff stopped for a fag. Dave superbly converted it.
Try 10 Dave Richard on another break through the now demoralised defence and thought about passing to Dawes, but ran it in instead.
Try 11 Dawes took the ball with two on the overlap but selfishly stepped inside his man, amid screams from Daz & Reuben to pass, two further defenders melted away being wrong footed by the cutting line. Popped it neatly between the posts in memory of the Late Great Gary I' Anson.
Try 12 Beddy used a Laser Sighted Missile to take out the scrum and then opted for a Survival knife to the Scrum Half, Kneecapped the Centres with an Uzi before a barehanded clean break of the Full back's neck.
Try 13 The forwards having had enough of the Backs stealing the limelight decided to take a rolling maul over to the line only to be stopped feet short. Up stepped Captain Fantastic The Braain who piled over the whitewash making the score line a whitewash too.
The Restarts were fun too, Batesy alternated inventive ways of setting Jody up with a pass, before finally waiting for Jody to steam by whilst giggling to himself after keeping the ball.
The Ref stopped the game 10 minutes from time, Sheriff having homoerotically rolled around in the mud with Batesy for too long and decided that the bar was beckoning.
Final Score The Meisters 79 - Loogaborooga IV's 3
This Match report is brought to you by the cool smooth refreshing flavour of Jagermeister served by the heaving bosom of a buxom wench in Jorrocks - The Best Bar in Derby.
(Special Mention goes to Rob Higgins who limped off against Melbourne a couple of weeks ago, Rob's Tibia & Fibia are broken. Best wishes for a speedy recovery)
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