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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Nerve Gas Posted - 28 January 2007 : 08:41:40
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESTS 37-5 Kettering
Match report when I've sobered-up a bit

It wasn't me
2   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Nerve Gas Posted - 29 January 2007 : 17:56:59
The Wandering Herd returned home to the plains of the Serengeti for the first time in 6 weeks. It was nice not to be on migration and The Beests responded with a BEESTIFEROUS DISPLAY.

Having permitted the 1st team to start first, the main attraction of the day at Haslams got under way 2 minutes late, as time had to be allowed to let the huge crowd in.
A massed BEESTIE attack, putting Kettering under pressure, produced 3 points from the boot of Jan van Tomsen, and set the scene for the rest of the day. A few minutes later more pressure forced the Kettering pack into transgressing, and, spurning the 3 points, Van The Man went for position, and after a few more phases Cresswell Coaches crashed over for the 5 pointer. VanderKicker sloted the nudge.

Kettering then decided that it was time to get off the coach and put the BEESTS under pressure, but some excellent kicking from Vanwilkoman, allowing Van de Moltonlava to arrive at about the same time as the ball, meant that the Kettering No. 15 was sent straight to Chateau Smashland,(Archer 2006), without even passing "Go". the pressure was relieved, and Moltonlava showed his attacking prowess with a good try.
The BEEESTS then had their customary little nap, and when they woke up they found that Kettering had scored an unconverted try. Taking exception to this, the mighty herd launched an impressive attack with the backs and forwards interlinking well, resulting in Ben Van Smatt crossing the whitewash. Vandergoldenboots added the 2 points, and Brian Ashton was seen asking for names and addresses.

Half time BEESTS 22 - 5 Kettering

The herd gathered at the wateringhole to generally slag each other off, and Moltonlava was replaced by San Van Jay.

The second half got underway and an awesome rolling maul got Mr Ashton reaching for his notebook again, and the Kettering lads lining up behind their line again: Owen "I'm-too-crap-to-play-in-the-first-team" van de West being the try scorer.
The Beests then made a couple of devastating substitutions as Sumo Vandevandriver and Man Mountain Mick took to the field to replace Sixpence and Ben van Smatt.
Vandevandriver immediately stamped his authority on a few heads and the game by crossing for five points.

The game started to fizzle out at this point as Kettering started to run out of puff, and players, though credit to them, they never gave-up. There was still time for Cresswell Coaches to display his party trick: the Buss-Pass, which produced a well worked try for San Van Jay.

At this pint, with Kettering down to 14 men, and less than 5 minutes to go, the ref blew up for full time.

All in all a good display from the BEEEESTS: The backs are getting it together as selection becomes more settled. For the second week in a row the forwards destroyed their opponents. Moltonlava looked sharp, Alex Van Tossharder had a good game at 9 where he is much improved. and we only went to sleep for 10 minutes instead of the usual half hour.

Squad: Van Mad Dag II, Ellot Van Spanner, Mad Van Dag I, Van $%^"* (The centre previously known as Dan Daveson), Molton Lava, Jan Van Tomsen, Alex Van Tossharder, The Centurion, Sixpence, Ben Van Crumb, Spark Van Spark, Pawpaw, Cresswell Coaches, Vangoodman, Ben Van Smatt, San Van Jay, Sumo Vandevandriver and Man Mountain Mick

PS:Cresswell you are becoming predictable and boring: that is the second time you have passed the ball this season!!

It wasn't me
Jimmy Smith for PM Posted - 28 January 2007 : 17:01:21
That'll be about Wednesday!!

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