| Author |
 Topic  |
|
sadam
'on the bench'
300 Posts |
 Posted - 29 October 2006 : 13:51:41
|
Beests 29 Dudley KW 3
Try Rob Brown
Preece hit post
Try Matt Erwin
Preece hit post
Dudley KW pen
Try Maddog
Conv Preece
half time
Try S-bend
Try Rod
Conv Hutch
|
|
|
The Jackal
'aqua technician'
United Kingdom
125 Posts |
Posted - 29 October 2006 : 17:14:03
|
I thought it was Goody who scored and Buzz Lightyear was just trying to claim it?
Nice to see Eldon's impression of Paul Ackford with the old school ear tape...
Looks like i'll be playing Dev's as you boys keep rolling out the performances
_________________________
Put him in the locker!!! BOSH! |
 |
|
|
legaulois
'tee boy'
66 Posts |
Posted - 29 October 2006 : 19:12:49
|
| Great result... even better to see that all in at the end when DKW resorted to cheap shots! |
|
|
|
halifaxbeest
'on the bench'
United Kingdom
335 Posts |
Posted - 30 October 2006 : 20:37:09
|
You asked for it, and here it is - a Halifaxbeesty report.
"I know the Beests got a golden touch, can't get enough - they got too much!"
As the 1st team welcomed Preston Grasshoppers, a team flying high in National 3 North, so the Beests welcomed Dudley Kingswinford, a former powerhouse of the game and currently a team flying high in Midlands 1, trying to reattain their former National League status.
Extreme arrogance on the part of the visitors was realised when they declared that they had no need for a front row, as well as the requisite 15 players. The Beests did not let this faze them, as they attempted to build on the high from Burton last week.
The trusty right boot of Chairman Phil Maodogs kicked the game off, and the DK immediately returned the ball with interest. Right away, the Beests set their stall out with some good defence, ensuring that the opposition had to work hard to gain yardage. This inevitably led to an early series of kicking ping-pong where Derby eventually gained the upper hand with some tidy handling.
Indeed, it wasn't long before the Beests were pressing the DK line. With strong carrying off the base of the scrum by Ben Smart, the huge gaps created by Maddogs and the tireless work of the forwards to create quick ball, it was only a matter of time before the Beests found a way through. With the tightest left-hand blindside I've ever seen, and a 3 on 1 out on the right, some observers thought that Maddogs the elder had gone to Dewhurst's with the scoring opportunity. They were to be proved wrong as a perfectly weighted pass (unlike the break before, eh Phil?) put centre Rob Brown in at the corner for a well-worked try. Unfortunately, Preecey hit the upright with the nudge, so the score stayed at 5-0.
More pressure from the Beests resulted in a penalty, which Hutch dispatched into the tributary of the Trent. From the lineout the multi-talented Archer, playing at hooker for the first time in a year after a nasty neck injury, managed to find Owen 'Fred' West with the perfect throw. The Beesty surge came on, with the pack rumbling first over the Donkey Kongwinsford defence, and then over their line. Both Matt 'Butters' Erwin and Super Dave Goodman claimed the touchdown, but both refused to a mano-a-mano paper-scissors-stone postgame shootout, so I guess we'll never know! 'Jonny' Preece's 2 hour pregame kicking practice unfortunately counted for nought again as he narrowly missed the nudge, making the score 10-0 to the Beests.
An infringement right from the DK kick-off gave the Beests a half-way scrum - perfect field position to launch an attack. However, they were unable to put clean phases together, and DK launched a counter-attack. Unfortunately, the Beests stopped this illegally with hands in the ruck, and the subsequent offence of Arch unleashing the pain train on the DK runner whilst not being 10 metres back gave the away side a good shot at 3 points. The DK kicker duly obliged, and DK were in the match at 10-3.
It's at this juncture that we won't mention Preecey's missed penalty attempt from in front of the posts. 22 metres out. Move on. Either it was a) arrogance - we don't need these 3 points or b) rubbish. But we won't linger longer here.
Further Beesty frustration came as a few good attacking opportunities went begging. However, a top quality first half for Chairman Maodogs was capped by a fine individual try reminiscient of Norm in his pomp (minus the gut). The try came from an awesome counter-attack launched by young Aussie Ryan Milton, using nous beyond his years to launch a magical rendition of "two-away Barbara" which eventually found its' way to S-Bend, running a kamikaze line off his right wing. A delicate chip over the defence saw the DK winger have to backtrack furiously to retrieve the ball, where he was uncerimoniously dumped back over his own try line to give the Beests the 5-metre scrum. From this scrum, a simple pick-and-go from Smart sucked in the back row - Maddogs sensed his chance, sold an outrageous dummy and scooted in under the sticks unopposed. Magic stuff, especially as Preecey remembered where he'd kept his boot instructions, adding the deuce.
The ref blew the halftime whistle with the score at 17-3, with the Beests in control - DK had not yet really threatened the Beesty line.
Much like the first half, the second half started with some aerial ping-pong before the Beests managed to settle down and build some phases. A quick bit of thinking by Preece and Archer turned a mark taken inside the Beest 22 into the next try. Noticing all the DK players lined up to watch the free kick go sailing into touch, Arch called for the Barbaration. He drew the one remaining centre and released Rob Brown, the hard running centre who had made some hard yards all game. Quick ruck ball was created, and the Beests began to look menacing. Man-of-the-match Coombs went close, all game displaying some nice touches around the park belying his position at prop and his frankly terrible white socks. It was only a matter of time before the Beests managed to cross the line - S-Bend soon obliging, taking the score to 22-3 - the game drifting out of sight for DK.
Despite managing to create, frustration at not taking their chances led to manager Robin making wholesale changes (when not being arrested by the Gardai...), bringing on young Silf Ifrican Harry Elliott for Pearce and Rodders for Milton. Harry immediately got in on the action, making several punishing hits and displaying good gun strength in ripping the ball clean from oncoming attackers. He also made an immediate impact on offense too, creating the next try after riding the tackle and making a sweet offload to release fellow sub Rodders in space to canter over the whitewash. By this time, Preecey had been banned from taking the kicks as he had been seconded to the 1st team bench, so Hutch took over the duties and made no mistake with the hoof - 29-3 Beests.
As time ran out, Afro Bills came on to oust S-Bend from the mantle of "Oldest player on the pitch" (word is, Campbell Wigley is going to shatter that next week), and to stretch his legs. Unfortunately, his first meaningful action was to manfully get involved in trying to break up the DK game of 'Find the Ring' (you know the theme tune...) on poor young Harry Elliott. The aftermath of this party game-gone-wrong involved the DK winger attempting to punch Goody in the head, thinking this was a good idea. Will these West Midlanders never learn?
It ultimately ended 29-3, a good result for the Beests in as much as DK never looked like scoring. Although the Beest finishing was far from clinical, it certainly was effective when it needed to be. All in all, a good day at the office. MMMUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
Team: Preece, Spencer, Brown, Hutchinson, Milton, Maddocks P, Swainston, Coombs, Archer, Erwin, Atherton, Goodman, West, Pearce, Smart. Subs: Mills, Muir, Elliott
Arch's betting school: Comeback odds - Campbell Wigley 5/2, Norm Collier 6/1, Harry Roberts 33/1.
Next week - the beginning of the new reality series 'Joe Mills: The Wedding Planner'
Also back next week - the EMT Healthcare healthcare question of the week from 'Wampbell Cigley' (some names have been changed to protect identities) of Derby, "Is it possible to play rugby on a Saturday whilst the wife thinks I'm at Asda?"
I just called to say I love MMUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH 3:-O |
Edited by - halifaxbeest on 30 October 2006 20:46:31 |
|
|
|
halifaxbeest
'on the bench'
United Kingdom
335 Posts |
Posted - 30 October 2006 : 20:49:38
|
Whammy! Check this out - right out of the top drawer...
I just called to say I love MMUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH 3:-O |
|
|
|
oldcorn
Moderator
United Kingdom
634 Posts |
Posted - 30 October 2006 : 20:52:09
|
| Oh how we've missed him!! I'm not biting at that bait though Arch !! Sheer quality - do you keep a notebook and pencil tucked down your socks or something? |
|
|
|
joemills
'tee boy'
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - 31 October 2006 : 08:20:00
|
Awesome report Arch!!
And still living by the maxim of 'never let the truth get in the way of a good story'.
I look forward to reading the next one. With report writing skills like that surely you must be guarenteed a starting spot?! |
|
|
|
Jimmy Smith for PM
'tee boy'
United Kingdom
63 Posts |
Posted - 31 October 2006 : 13:06:45
|
| You can't beat quality!! One small detail though Arch, Wampbell Cigley doesn't shop at Asda! He has his butler 'Mills' to shop for him! |
|
|
|
joemills
'tee boy'
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - 31 October 2006 : 14:02:34
|
atleast I'm not slower than my brother! |
|
|
|
halifaxbeest
'on the bench'
United Kingdom
335 Posts |
Posted - 31 October 2006 : 16:57:11
|
Maddogs - "some names have been changed to protect identities" - if I'd let on that 'Wampbell Cigley' has a butler, his missus might cotton on!
I just called to say I love MMUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH 3:-O |
|
|
|
spirito-d-beest
'tee boy'
Barbados
82 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2006 : 01:52:07
|
| bravo sir! |
|
|
|
oldcorn
Moderator
United Kingdom
634 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2006 : 23:00:17
|
| talking of "how we've missed him", when are you back spirito? |
|
|
|
Rolf Harris
'cutting oranges'
5 Posts |
Posted - 03 November 2006 : 14:21:42
|
| i hear he is all loved up with some mounty!!! |
|
|
|
spirito-d-beest
'tee boy'
Barbados
82 Posts |
Posted - 03 November 2006 : 18:53:43
|
| that mounty **** left me for a Grizzly! Back in January! Will that BEESTY 7 shirt still fit me? |
|
|
|
oldcorn
Moderator
United Kingdom
634 Posts |
Posted - 03 November 2006 : 19:21:05
|
| probably, but might have to pull somebody else out of it first! Also bring back green one!! |
|
|
|
spirito-d-beest
'tee boy'
Barbados
82 Posts |
Posted - 06 November 2006 : 03:50:38
|
| as long as its that big old blonde guy! i think he has past his boshing time! |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Dudley KW
