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Ze German
'on the bench'
United Kingdom
323 Posts |
 Posted - 11 January 2007 : 14:03:19
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Match Report: The Meisters v Mansfield IV
So, Christmas finally is over for another year. The Tree, Tinsle & Decorations are going back in the garage only to be eaten by mice and have to be re-bought again next year. The Chav Outside Light Display, that quadrupled your electricity bill and caused mild myopia, have finally been switched off (although you’re tempted to leave them there till next year). You’ve reclaimed the Inflatable Singing Santa that blew off your roof away a week ago from the neighbour’s back garden. You’re now ready to face the New Year, although you’ve gained an extra 2 stone from having to finish off the remaining Party Food, Chocolates & those 2 bottles of Advocat rather than let it go to waste because you panic bought on 24th December due to Asda shutting for one day.
It was with all this in mind that a slightly pallid but chubbier Meisters took to the field against Mansfield IV’s. The last time the two teams met on 23rd Sept was a tough match that the Meisters only won in the dying minutes with a little help from Spiderman. This time though, The Meisters confidence is on the up.
Our erstwhile Captain 'The Brain', who having consumed more food than Belgium over the Christmas period, feigned injury and stood on the side line making notes in his Mr Men Note Book that he got for Christmas from his Nan. He wrote: “…11100011100011...." (in joke from Dusseldorf).... and then in his best joined up writing he wrote:
"Dave Richards scored the first try, he ran very fast and has nice legs - Scott converted, he's got nice legs too. It' s a shame I won't be in the showers later to watch them."
After this flying start, Louis "What-day-is-it?-Ooh-I've-just-scored-another-try" Gandolfo got in the act at Full Back with yet another display of selfish indiviualism that would make you wonder why the little git didn't take up sailing when he was6 and get into the record books years before Master Perham of Potters Bar.
The Brain noted it thus: "..Louis scored after they kicked it through and then he gassed them, he's lovely - Scott Converted...mmmm..."
The Mansfield Forwards were a useful set, albeit as ugly as Gary's Mam, and given the opportunity (ie a scrum on the 5m line) all they needed to do was put their little faces up each others backsides and push, and that's exactly what they did. Our very own ugly Forwards just rolled over and let them do it. The Brain was too upset to note this down.
The Mansfield Backs however were not useful and Dancin Dave Richards was on hand to take the Michael. Dave took the ball from Scot dummied to Norm and that was enough to fox all the Mansfield backs, Dave strolled through for a 30m try. The Brain's childish scrawl reads: "Wow, Dave scored again...wow Scott converted again!!! This is great! I Love my Rugby Men..."
At this point in the half, it became obvious that The Meisters had a new secret weapon. At every breakdown the Meisters beleaguered Forwards found our very own Ex Marine Sniper and all round nutter Fordy (moved from Winger to Flanker in an inspired decision by the Camp Captain) throwing himself headfirst (literally) into every loose ball and every tackle. This was all the encouragement needed, the Forwards burst into life and produced an impressive display of aggression. After a run up the field, Mansfield found themselevs defending hard on their 5m, Scott popped a ball to Nelly who charged in but was stopped short. Then like a shot, the ball was taken and exploded through the Mansfield line for a Try, by none other than that man Fordy. The Brain scribbled "Fordy scored a dead good try, he was SNIPING at the back of the mall... ha ha get it?... Scott converted again! It's like his legs have a life of their own..."
However, Mansfield yet again played to their strength and before the end of the half 2 more tries came from 5m line Scrum pushovers.
Half Time 28 - 15.
Scott came off with an injury and Stormin' Norman dropped into scrum half. After the restart, the Backs started to settle into their game. One of the first moves was sublime passing from Norm to Louis, back to Norm then back again. Norm & Dave also showed their age with some Old School moves that would make JPR Williams and his massive sideburns proud. Between the both of them they netted a try each after running them in from the half way line. Brain remarked, "Norm & Dave both scored from about half way, I think, can’t remember what happened, was too busy watching their legs - Dave converted both though, I remember that..."
By now Mansfield heads had dropped, even their 5m scrum push stopped working. This was highlighted when Louis did his usual trick of taking the ball at Full Back and running it in past 8 players. However, the high jinks of Dawes putting the ball down on his behalf was greeted with "We've come a long way for this game, don't laugh at us" moaned one of the Mansfield Forwards, who was also convinced they were playing Derby 2nd Team. Brain's Obiter Dictum read: "Dawes scored officially (not even worth mentioning his legs, he is definitely too interested in sleazing on women to look at me)..."
Favourite Moment of the Match: Freddie received the ball deep and started on a run, upon his first encounter with the opposition it looked like Freddie was going to attempt either quick punt or a dummy, whatever it was the ball slipped out of his hands long enough to completely out fox Mansfield, Freddie managed to catch it and ran on for another 40m - one hell of a lesson to watch the ball not the player.
Closing words of wisdom from The Brain, " ..What a lovely game. The backs were awesome but the forwards were asleep for most of the 1st half. Fordy was awesome, Booya slagging all the forwards off from the sideline then showing them how it was done on the pitch. Slacky playing tight head for the 1st time in his life and propping for the 1st time in 7 years.
My Lovely Team was: Davy, Colin, Slacky, Nelly, Cavey, Griz, Fordy, Beddy, Scott, Dave, Freddie, Norm, Dawes, Charlie, Louis.
Subs were, Ben Harvie, Craig, Booya, Titch, Big Rob, JB, Wisey, Ruben
Supporters were; The Brain, Jesus, Pange, Emily, Clare, Sheriff, Alexia…..I'll think I'll have a head massge after my manicure tonight...”
Final Score: The Meisters 49 - Mansfield 15
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norm
Moderator
725 Posts |
Posted - 11 January 2007 : 14:41:08
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Freddie's dummy kick was the result of some on pitch coaching by the master....
Following his previous kick, i suggested he added the dummy kick to his armory, and gave him brief instructions on it's implementation.... What followed was pure genius... a crap dummy kick, but the effect much the same... Next match, he needs to add the shout of "OLE" to his vocabulary when he dummy kicks....
Anyway, Mansfield's version
Mansfield IV v Derby IV – Away
Playing away on a quagmire of a pitch proved too much for Mansfield 4ths who failed to play to their strengths incurring a 49-15 loss. Mansfield had Derby beaten up front but failed to use this advantage throughout the game. Derby scored first through their No.10 who was given far too much space. This seemed to spur on the Mansfield forwards who trudged up field to win a scrum 5 m out. John Harris Snr at No.8 scored from the resulting scrum with a push over try. Once again Mansfield let Derby run at them them through their full back, this time giving him a 20m run before finally putting him to deck 10m out but his off load saw their blind side flanker go in to score under the posts. This was story line throughout the first half. Mansfield rampaged through their forwards scoring another push over with Harris Snr popping the ball up to Harris Jnr to score in the corner from another set piece scrummage.
Turning around at half time 25-10 down Mansfield had it all to do. Legs starting to tire in the bog Derby started to use their many replacements to gain fresh legs and it showed through the secong half. Derby were able to run in several more tries, keeping the ball away from the dominant Mansfield forwards for long periods. With 10 mins to go Mansfield scored yet again through the forwards from a driving maul after a 10m lineout. Steffen jumping at 4 secured clean ball, Harris Snr again involved, secured possession and setup a driving maul gifting Andy Sykes the try as Mansfield drove over the Derby line. All in all Derby proved to be the better side on the day but Mansfield realised after the game that it could have been a closer encounter if only they played to their strengths.
half man, half legend |
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Nerve Gas
'aqua technician'
Iraq
198 Posts |
Posted - 11 January 2007 : 16:31:41
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Sounds quite muddy. A bit like the trenches without the gas? This can be remedied if you want.......
Ahmed Gas Solutions
PO Box 1
Kabul
It wasn't me |
Edited by - Nerve Gas on 11 January 2007 16:34:22 |
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Meisters Vs Mansfield 4ths
