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Ze German
'on the bench'
United Kingdom
322 Posts |
 Posted - 24 August 2007 : 10:39:44
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Pre-Season Training Match Report: Devs/Meisters v Ashbourne (by Daddy Dawes)
After years and years of waiting, it comes down to this…. They spend months in a tent, then Ron & Hermione have it off, Hogwarts gets blown to pieces, Mrs Weasley does a really good impression of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, Voldemort gets castrated… oh and Harry dies… That’s it, the 2nd most eagerly awaited event of the year; the plot of the last Harry Potter book. Hope I’ve not ruined it for you…. It’s all about anticipation you see. Building up to when the time finally arrives. The BEST bit is before IT happens. You don’t read the last page first, do you? You don’t really want to know what happens to Master Potter & Chums without laboriously reading it for yourself, just like I don’t really want to read the letter of apology from a grey haired, self centred, attention seeking, bitter headmaster who can’t handle his drink and likes to ruin social events (whom from henceforth shall be referred to as ‘The G.H.C.’) The thought of it being there is enough for me – But is the anticipation more exciting than the event itself? The Mafia wait decades to settle old scores, so the authorities and the intended victim become bored of waiting, they then chose a significant date or place, so the remaining family will always be reminded of it. Hmm… Now that’s Anticipation.
For those seasoned professionals like Dawes, Nelly & Cavey, the pre-season training over summer has been a religion (not Hard-line Islamic Sharia Law you understand, more like a quiet respectable Church of England Flower Festival – although given the distinct absence of anything remotely Flower-like from training – I’ll amend that to Harvest Festival) The new coach has put us through our paces – Dawes has sped up, Cavey’s limp tackle has improved and Nelly managed more Crunches than anyone in the squad….. (Although they were Cadbury’s, not Abs)
So has all the sprint training, bag tackling and handling drills paid off? (Personal favourite was the Spacko Handling drill which made you have to concentrate whilst running forwards, passing straight on and then join a queue to your right – we soon found out Derby’s not full of great thinkers, is it?) However, despite running till my tongue fell off every Tuesday and being flattened by Kenty every Thursday, I found myself chomping at the bit for our first practise match. If those Tackle Bags were anything to go by we’d be fine, they can’t run, let alone Tackle.
Which brings me neatly to the event, which supplants Potter et al; The Most eagerly awaited event of the year – The Start of The Season - But before that we have our first match in the form of a pre-season warmup… you see what I’m doing? It’s all about anticipation….
The idea was to have a short match on Thursday made up of The Dev’s / Meisters and pitch their ‘talent’ against Ashbourne. There was a decent enough turnout – enough for a wholesale team change at ‘Third-Time’ (the match was 3 x 20 mins). Allegedly, Ashbourne were mainly 1st & 2nd team – not that it mattered in the first 20, the hastily merged Meist-elopment team performed pretty well, stout defence & slick handling, finished the third one try each. Gandolfo actually turned up and had a fine run, Stormin’ Norman came out of retirement to perform an ‘Ole’, Nelly held his own and new signing “Pierre-rique” adding the va-va-voom after some poor Ashbourne defence. The 2nd 20 mins brought a whole new team – Flower actually put in 3 tackles in one minute, Graham Finlay had a nice burst only to be brought down yards from the line, Charlie Walton showed there is life after a Derby Disco, C5W proved that student life really does slow your brain and widen your waistline and I’Anson was pure genius – however, Ashbourne put one try past them. The final third started off well enough but probably the amount of changes allowed Ashbourne to take the advantage in the closing stages. It was a decent performance given the squad of 30 and the opposition.
SO now you can sit back and eagerly await real start of the season which should be packed full of adventures and thrills just like last season. There’s a new league with new opposition including our very own Dev’s – The True-mour Mill has predicted a close contest much in the same vein as The Titanic Clashes of the Meisters v The Coffin Dodgers last season (which stands at 1 – 1 so far, but I’ve also heard another true-mour that The Decider is to be played against the Vets later in the year!). There’ll be more creative writing from 4-Scores-Dawes and maybe if you’re very, very lucky – some old school style reports from Mr Gary-Lisa I’Anson who has promised he’ll be in attendance much more than he was last year (his parents don’t want him home anymore – he’s outgrown the caravan). Let’s hope he can string together more than a few spurious sentences of suspect spelling, grim grammar and ailing alliteration … There is also the small matter of a drunken wager made between Dawes & I’Anson for the princely sum of Twenty English Pounds Sterling on who, between the two, will score the most tries this season! Now, that’s worth waiting for….
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Edited by - Ze German on 24 August 2007 10:40:13 |
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joemills
'tee boy'
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - 29 August 2007 : 16:44:19
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Wow what a report Tim, so much better than anything four scores dawes can do!!!
Although I'm with Colin, I reckon he'll score more than Gary I!!
What do you think? Let's get a poll going |
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TheEngager
'tee boy'
66 Posts |
Posted - 03 September 2007 : 20:53:54
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Me too, mainly on the account that I turn up to games.
Gary-No-Show-I'Anson hang your head in shame.
Four-Scores-Dawes |
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Pre season match
