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sadam
'on the bench'
301 Posts |
 Posted - 12 March 2006 : 11:27:12
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The Beests met up at Haslams for an expected hard encounter with Matlock to find one enforced change: Kentos Kentos Ghali, realising that he had UN comitments, had to withdraw, his place being taken by Door Mat.
Then another enforced change: The ref had got lost, but luckily Moore Beer's girl friend, a fully qualified ref, had turned up to watch him, so got changed, and officiated. (Thank you)
The match got underway and THE BEEEEEEEEEEEESTS soon ROAAAARRRRRED into action, with Maddog flying over for the first try, which Headlights was unable to convert. The Lean Mean Try Scoring Machine was soon on the score sheet, crossing the whitewash for Headlights to add the nudge.
This unexpectadly easy start lulled the herd into a false sense of security, in fact it almost lulled them to sleep! For the next 10 minutes the lineout went AWOl as did most of the grey matter, and it was left to one of the young bucks Charlie Chalk to get the Beests going again as he visited the Fun Factory, Headlights missed the nudge.
The Beests RETURNED TO THE ROAR and Creswell Coaches went over, shortly followed by Matt The Hat(trick) for his first Beesty try.
Half time Derby 27 Matlock 0
The Herd gathered at the watering hole, split into backs (to discuss the latest political row between Bolivia and Chile) and forwards (debateing the finer points of Zoroastrianism). This new method of relaxation introduced by our new Captain "Can-I-Buy-a-Try-From-you". hit the spot, and The BEEEEEESTS came out fired up for the second half, which gave a new meaning to SHOCK AND AWE.
The Lean Mean Try Scoring Machine blasted over for his second. Creswell Coaches, hunting Normski's record crashed over. Then Maddog 2 shot through the middle to allow Headlights an easy nudge.
Matlock were now being Minced by the Mighty, Meanest Machine, you have ever seen. Matt the Hat blasted over in the Corner, and having got his breath back decided to repeat the act in case Dad missed it the first time. Disraeli rose from the grave to add another. Charlie Chalk returned to the Fun Factory and Creswell Coaches shot in for another.
It was at this point, with 15 minutes left to go and the score standing at 69 -0, that The Beests and the ref sudenly realised that The Matlock lads had actually gone on a Nile cruise at half time, and hadn't actually been on the pitch for a while! The only reason this had not been spotted before, was that Door Mat, having got bored with running the line had actually put on a Matlock shirt and taken to the field for a bit of practise. BIZZARE to say the least!
Any way the ref blew up to end the fun and The Beests returned to the FIRST TEAM changing room with THE BEESTS BEER CHEST. Here they contemplated next weeks fixture which will be a much sterner test when The Beests meet Old Patesians in the NCA league, a team which had the audacity to defeat them earlier in the season.
Squad: Maddocks R, Maddocks P, Gandolfo, Woodward, Cornfield, Wiggley, Lucas, Cormack, Wilcox, Erwin, Mills, Atherton, Cox, Bussell Archer, Else, Moore.
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Matlock
