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sadam
'on the bench'
300 Posts |
 Posted - 15 October 2006 : 18:33:46
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THE BEEEEEESTY BEER CHEST, KINDLY SPONSORED BY "BIRD-BATH BOB" OF JOHN'S GARAGE FAME set off down the M1 towards Kettering safely hidden in the boot of the coach. Meanwhile up above the BEEEEESTS and the first team were treated to some excellent grand prix driving and stunning navigation courtesy of Harpers and Queen.
Out on the pitch the BEEESTs started with a bang, as a BEEESTy speciality aka a rolling maul, produced instant results, and with less than five minutes gone Cresswell "does-exactly-what-it-says-on- the-tin" Coaches pounced on the ball to be awarded the 5 points. Unfortunately %$"*& missed the conversion.
Kettering were not going to take that lying down, or even standing up, and after very nearly getting two interceptions, succeded on the third attempt, to run in a try from half way, which was converted. This was soon followed by a penalty.
Kettering 10 BEESTS 5.
The Beests were playing at a very fast tempo and making a lot of mistakes, giving away apple turnovers as if they were a registered charity, but during a fairly lucid moment, Maddog 2 ran a beautiful line and blitzed the Kettering white wash. %$"*& added the nudge to give the BEESTS a 2 point advantage.
Cresswell Coaches then decided that he was going to get another five-pointer and after laying siege to the opposition line for several weeks eventually breached their defences with his howitzers for the desired result. %$"*& went wide with the nudge.
Kettering replied with a try (how boring).
Foul play from Kettering resulted in a penalty to the BEEESTS and %$"*& notched up 3 more points.
A quite bizare episode followed: The genial referee had stopped play to tell a story, players of both sides were sitting around on the grass engrossed in the elegant wit and style of the aforementioned gentleman, when two of the Kettering players quietly slipped away and touched the ball down under the posts. The ref, being thus rudely interupted, promptly jumped up, leaving his audience wondering how the story was going to end, and awarded the home team a try! The conversion was added.
Half time: Kettering 22 Beests 20
The Beests gathered around the watering hole to hear some encouragement from Six Pence and a bit of swearing from some others, whilst Eldon "Skippy-the-Kangaroo" Athers, showed his soft side by going off with the ref to hear the end of the story, that had been so rudely interupted earlier in the afternoon.
This story must have been truly inspiring, for soon after the start of the second half Skippy skipped over for a five pointer to give the Beests back the lead.
(Break for Sadam's dinner)part 2 will follow shortly
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Edited by - sadam on 15 October 2006 19:25:41 |
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sadam
'on the bench'
300 Posts |
Posted - 15 October 2006 : 19:22:38
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(Beef, mashed potato, carrots, turnips, cabbage, and red wine)
Kettering then kicked a penalty to make it level pegging at 25 - 25; but the Beests were starting to impose themselves up front.
Heavy pressure led to a yelow card for a Kettering player, and further fine play from the forwards led to a try for Harry The Convict.
Next came a try for Someoneorother which was converted by %$"*&.
Further pressure led to another yellow card for Kettering and Cresswell went in for his third of the day. %$"*& added a final penalty to leave the final score as:
Kettering 30 BEEEEEESTS 45
Though the Beests were more than generous in the first half, they tightened things up in the second to produce a more convincing display. S van de Bend, Moltenlava and Rodinski Muirsikov are getting it together as the back 3. The centres actually passed the ball to each other. The forwards are starting to produce the goods. No Frills was welcomed back to the herd. Debutant Dan van de Kooms looks a natural. Cresswell Coaches is collecting positions and most people even paid some of their club subs!
Anyone know a scrum-half?
(Squad: Rodinski, S van de B, Moltenlava, Ball Gown, Mad Van Dag, %$"*&, Cresswell, Door Matt, Six Pence, Van de Matt, No Frills, Skippy, Ned Kelly, Boris Goodenough, Chick Pea, Melon and Pawpaw)
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Edited by - sadam on 15 October 2006 19:27:29 |
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legaulois
'tee boy'
66 Posts |
Posted - 16 October 2006 : 13:05:07
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| Truly magnificent report!!! |
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cyberman
'cutting oranges'
21 Posts |
Posted - 16 October 2006 : 13:09:50
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Scans detect unknown technology active within Sadam's Sphere chamber. Cybermen will investigate if he is compatible
'My body may be cybernetic but my mind stays human!' |
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Fairy Liquid
'cutting oranges'
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
Posted - 18 October 2006 : 16:21:39
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I think you'll find that "unknown technology" is a euphemism for hallucinogenic substances
Hands Up! |
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Kettering
